Why do I keep doing this?
The average person operates on autopilot, a shocking 95-97% of the day.
Did you know… the deepest part of your mind, the subconscious, is making decisions on your behalf any time you’re not fully present in the moment?
It allows the body to keep moving while the mind is occupied with thought.
The classic example is driving your car from a to b, busy daydreaming about some future event… then arriving at your destination with absolutely zero recollection of the journey.
So who was driving the car?
The subconscious.
So how does it work?
When you’re preoccupied, your subconscious takes the wheel.
Most people don’t realise they have a unique database of beliefs which have been stored since childhood.
Chocolate = treat for being a good girl.
Quiet = well behaved.
Tears = too emotional.
Asking for help = too needy.
The subconscious uses these beliefs to quickly decide how to respond in any situation… which in theory should make for a smooth life.
But here’s the thing…
Many of the beliefs your subconscious is operating from are wildly outdated.
(See above list of beliefs!)
Question your beliefs
Most of the beliefs you are operating from today were handed to you.
Adopted from your family, friends, community and culture.
You’ve probably never questioned them. After all they were absorbed when you had far less choice, wisdom, and maturity than you do now.
And as such they probably don’t reflect who you are now.
So no wonder making a change can feel like an uphill battle, since you’re frequently wrestling with the subconscious, which is trying to re-route you back to the early 90s like a dodgy sat nav.
Sarah and the donut
As an example of how the subconcious can sabotage your best attempts at change - let’s consider Sarah.
Sarah consciously decides ‘Right, this week I’m going to to eat healthily all week’.
It’s Monday. She arrives at work with great intentions. She’s prepped her meals. She’s bossed the gym at 7am!
She eats her healthy lunch and so far it’s all going ok.
But later that afternoon she notices she’s been absent mindedly gnawing on a donut at her desk.
Feeling like a total failure, she nails the 2 remaining donuts, then for good measure, orders a 4 cheese pizza for dinner on the way home, telling herself ‘I’ll start again next week.
This week is clearly a write off.’
How did it happen?
When Sarah was engrossed in solving a tricky problem at work, a colleague wandered by and offered her a tasty mid-afternoon treat.
Sarah’s subconscious noticed the donut and decided it represented some much needed pleasure. It said YES PLEASE! Her hand reached for it.
It was already half eaten before Sarah’s conscious mind could hop back into the driving seat and exert the willpower needed to stay on track.
Remember the subconscious is steering 95-97% of the time.
Now multiply this by 1000s of beliefs
Take a moment to consider the types of disempowering beliefs your subconscious is using to make decisions on your behalf.
From birth, the conditioning is heaped on, informing you what being a good or loveable person means. You’ve absorbed so many ideas about who you should be,
This informs everything you do, because you naturally want to feel safe, accepted and loved. Don’t we all?
Common limiting beliefs:
It’s selfish to put my needs first.
Love depends on how much I give.
Good people are endlessly available.
Success = working hard. A lot.
Quitting makes me a failure. Even after I’ve outgrown a situation, role or relationship.
If I fail, I’m worthless.
Being able to ‘manage it all’ is aspirational.
Resting is weak or lazy.
Anger is ugly and means I lack control.
Swallowing down my truth keeps the peace.
Being emotional is a massive turn off.
People leave or punish me when I’m honest.
This is the turning point.
If you’re still here (yeah baby!) it’s probably the right time to start challenging the beliefs running your show and stealing your energy.
Time to start becoming more present, reconnecting to the wisdom of your body and learning to trust its signals, instead of overriding them.
Time to take back control of your life.
Since your current issues are not so much about who you ARE…
They reflect what you learned you had to DO.
And it can all change.
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